Tuesday, September 30, 2003 :::
 
Cel phone shennanigans

Damn.

It sucks when you call someone on their cel phone, and while it's ringing, you lose your nerve and wish you hadn't called. But it's too late now cuz your number's gonna show up on their caller ID anyway. So you might as well leave a message. But you can't think of anything funny or cute to say in the message and you end up sounding like an idiot.

(Damn.)

On another note

If someone calls you on the cel phone, and you do in fact see their number on the caller ID, why do you call ANOTHER number to call them back? Even if you didn't check the voicemail which clearly asks "call me at home", why would you call the cel when i called you from home?

I dunno.

::: posted by sugar at 7:26 PM



Monday, September 29, 2003 :::
 
No comprendo.

If you don't want people to share your files, TAKE THEM OFF THE DAMN LINKED FOLDER. Don't put em where ppl can see them and then DISCONNECT THE DOWNLOAD.

It especially sucks when it turns out YOU are the only one that has multiple copies of the SAME FILE, just numbered "(1)", "(1)(1)", etc. Someone was nice enough to let you have it, either keep it to yourself outright or share all the way.

*Thank you.*

::: posted by sugar at 1:55 PM



Friday, September 26, 2003 :::
 
Song of the Day/Week/Month/Life

P.O.D. - "Alive"

Everyday is a new day
I’m thankful for every breath I take
I won’t take it for granted
So I learn from my mistakes
It’s beyond my control, sometimes it’s best to let go
Whatever happens in this lifetime
So I trust in love
You have given me peace of mind
chorus:
I feel so alive for the very first time
I can’t deny you
I feel so alive
I feel so alive for the very first time
And I think I can fly

Sunshine upon my face
A new song for me to sing
Tell the world how I feel inside
Even though it might cost me everything
Now that I know this, so beyond, I can’t hold this
I can never turn my back away
Now that I’ve seen you
I can never look away

[chorus]

[bridge:]
Now that I know you (I could never turn my back away)
Now that I see you (I could never look away)
Now that I know you (I could never turn my back away)
Now that I see you (I believe no matter what they say)

[chorus x 2]

::: posted by sugar at 2:59 PM



Thursday, September 25, 2003 :::
 
"Give me what I want."

I finally found a place where I can see the Mraz video for "You and I Both": VH1.com. And it's not the acoustic one, it's the real deal with the bank teller and dancing and all that. Gotta love seein Toca pushin a floor waxer, and Ian tryin to take him out with a mop. And the dancing! Poor guy just wants to hook up with the pretty bank teller.

Pulled this photo from the Mraz website. There's a bunch of Polaroids from the video shoot there.

(And what the hell is going on with the fonts?!)

::: posted by sugar at 1:43 PM


 
A Glitch In The Matrix?

I was talking to a very dear friend about...patterns. She finds herself in a pattern of meeting and being attracted to men who never live near her. From different area codes to different states and time zones...it's a conundrum. (I wish I could sound as cool as the kid in The Ring when I say that.)

I have my patterns as well. I tend to attract and be attracted to opinionated men [er...boys] who are emotionally immature yet possess a wonderful ability of expressing themselves about EVERYTHING ELSE. Typically have many women friends. I usually don't take them seriously or consider them seriously until it's hitting me over the head. Although pretty much everyone gets the 2-second eval that everyone does but no one talks about. If you have no idea what's being evaluated during the first sight 2-second eval...I worry about you. LOL, jk.

The flip side to having a pattern is that you remember how it DIDN'T WORK the last (several) times. So you gravitate towards what you like, but hesitate because of the f*ck-up part. I feel slightly lame that Someone got through to me the way he did. I feel all out on a limb and exposed, and timing would have it that this is when he seems to disappear. Better now than later I guess. And I need to concentrate on other things anyway.

Just woulda been nice to concentrate on more...interesting things sometimes.

"Nothing to see here, keep moving people..."

::: posted by sugar at 3:03 AM



Wednesday, September 24, 2003 :::
 
Concerts

For some reason I've been in conversation more than once this week about certain live shows worth seeing, or the ones where you're thinking "DAMN I SHOULDA WENT."

In no particular order, the list includes but isn't limited to:

-Summer Sanitarium Tour: Metallica/Linkin Park/Limp Bizkit

-U2 (If I had a DeLorean I woulda went to ZooTV. But any show will work for me.)

-Dido (No explanation necessary. If you don't know, you betta ask somebody!)

-Lauryn Hill (damn what a show that was. and Busta Rhymes opened up for her, that was fly.)

-Harry Connick, Jr. (I still think he's the man.)

-Outkast (good lawd they put on a dope show!!!)

-Depeche Mode (Violator or 101 tour)

-Mos Def & Talib Kweli (Blackstar)

-Eminem

-Madonna (Blonde Ambition tour)

-Janet Jackson (I was lucky enough to see her once, but any of her shows would be bomb to see. She is so bomb.)

-No Doubt (when they toured with Bush)

-The Hard Knock Life Tour (Jay-Z, Method Man, Redman, DMX, etc.)

-Jason Mraz

-John Mayer

-P.O.D.

-Dj Tiesto/Fatboy Slim/George Acosta/Dave Pearce/Digweed/Ferry Corsten/DJ Wish FM/Aphrodite/UFO (Wouldn't it be amazing if this lineup actually existed? I'd prefer some help staying awake for the whole thing.)

-Bon Jovi (Yes you read that correctly. go ahead and laugh, but if you went with me, you'd be surprised how many Bon Jovi songs you know!)

-Earth Wind and Fire (No doubt, still good after all these years...the night I saw them at SDSU is one of my favorite memories.)

-Dave Matthews Band

-Celine Dion (HA! Just kidding. Caught you! Good to see you're still paying attention.)

-New Order (I wouldn't mind repeating the Area:One performance, but I'd take 'em any way I could.)

If I had a DeLorean and could generate 1.21 Jiggawatts (Jigga Who?) of power, I'd wanna see:

-Marvin Gaye

-The Rat Pack at the Sands (Frank, Sammy, Dean)

-Barry White

-The Beatles (during their Mop Top, Ed Sullivan days)

-Nirvana

-Mozart

-Beethoven

-Chopin

::: posted by sugar at 12:47 PM


 
Be careful what you wish for.

OK so looks like I might have the insomnia taken care of.

On to nightmares and bizarre dreams in general.

Sheesh!

::: posted by sugar at 12:24 PM



Monday, September 22, 2003 :::
 
Insomnia

I can't remember the last time I had a normal night's sleep.

Prolly another reason I identified with Lost In Translation, the main characters had trouble sleeping too. That might have also been due to the fact that they were in another country and time zone.

Perhaps that's the root of my problems. I'm in a different proverbial country and time zone.

I find myself just sitting here at my desk, working on stuff/mp3'n/whatever, not getting tired, next thing I know Pharell's video is being played again on MTV. I look out the window and the sky is starting to turn a lighter shade of blue. Well, on the "plus" side, I've discovered that they play really good music videos in the middle of the night that don't get shown during the day. (Too busy pleasing the TRL kids I guess.)

::: posted by sugar at 3:26 PM



Saturday, September 20, 2003 :::
 
Lost In Translation

After watching this movie, I came home and just felt this sense of quiet and reflection. Since it's so late, the house was silent. All I could hear as I walked up to the front door were the Abercrombie girls across the courtyard, singing along with Aladdin. (Their voices managed to permeate the closed sliding door, how is that possible? Good lawd!) ANYWAY, I come home and end up making a couple of slow laps between my room, living room, dining room and back again. Read a few reviews of Lost In Translation and now I'm here.

*sigh*

It's not that I didn't like the movie. In fact I loved it. I really hope that it gets recognized. My concern is that it's gonna be just another artsy indie that gets swallowed up by the sexy action adventure or slick romantic comedy. Such is life. I'll get back to that. Real quick synopsis first:

The film takes place in Japan, but the main characters are two Americans. Bill Murray plays Bob Harris, an ex-action star whose celebrity has earned him a $2M deal endorsing Japanese whiskey. It also earned him a translator who leaves much to be desired in the translating dept. I recall enough Japanese to know that she only translated about one sentence for every four. LOL. The other main character is Charlotte, played by Scarlett Johanssen. She got guts running around in her underwear for a noticeable part of the film. And damn I need to find out where she got her clothes. THUMBS UP all the way! Anyway, Charlotte and Bob are staying at the same hotel. Her husband is a photographer, shooting bands and other celebrities. She spends her time listening to self-help CDs and exploring different parts of Tokyo and the surrounding areas. Charlotte and Bob become very unlikely friends in the midst of circumstance and find that they're not that much different from one another. Be it after 2 or 25 years of marriage, it's still hard. A lengthy and "successful" career can leave a person as lost as they were fresh out of college and out of ideas.

I fell in love with this film through the trailer. [Note: Please try not to see the other clips, it'll take away from the funny in the theater. It's hard to resist, but can be done. Hee.] It was so...lush. And it spoke to me. The sense of loss and lonliness amidst the order and chaos of "living" and obligation. Finding humor in spite of everything else.

I think part of the reason this movie will be underrated in today's movie culture is because it doesn't really hit you over the head about anything. There is no sex on screen (although there are some crazy naked women), there's always liquor but no crazy drunkeness. Sofia Coppola manages to represent Japan without making a huge cliche out of karaoke, the hard-to-decipher accents and those wild variety shows. There is no true "point" to the plot, as in there's someone to save from certain death or something. There's no ancient artifact to find or terrorists to stop. It's a journey, a glimpse into the lives of people not unlike ourselves and others we know.

Lost In Translation is full of "moments", little nuances everywhere. Coppola captures so much of that. (I love that she wrote and directed it.) I have to get the DVD when it comes out so I can see it all again and hear her commentary track. (Yes I'm a nerd. Let's move on.) There is one scene where Charlotte's husband, played so well by Giovanni Ribisi (Frank Jr. to all you Friends fans), sees [Kelly] an actress that he knows and goes on to talk to her forever and a day while his wife is chopped liver. You can SEE her thinking "OK...shall i leave you two alone or do you plan on telling her that I'm you're wife?!" When the actress chick starts gushing over how John [Ribisi] is her "FAVORITE" photographer, they cut to a shot of him laughing from the flattery...he puts his arm around Charlotte and she quickly disentangles herself. LOL. This is just one example of all the great little things that add up to this big movie.

I already know that most of the people I know wouldn't like this movie. They'd dismiss it as slow and boring. They'd complain that the ending left you hanging and that more should have happened. But for what it's worth, the "slower" moments in the film were always transitioned into something funny or eye-catching.

For the record: The ending ROCKS.

Mike brought up an interesting point that I never would have noticed otherwise:
"Half the film has no dialogue."

Holy shiet!

I was so wrapped up what I was looking at and thinking about the lives of these people, that I didn't notice the silence. It's true - there are many scenes where all you see is Charlotte visiting different gardens, temples, and city sights like the arcades. There is only ambient noise, and music. Believe it or not, I am actually going to purchase the soundtrack. Go figure! *wink*

The casting for this film was as good as it gets. I can't imagine other actors playing these roles, even the Japanese characters whose names I don't know. At first I was surprised to see Bill Murray receive such critical acclaim and Oscar talk, at least on the nomination level. Even though the trailers showed a lot and I was already impressed, I had to see it to fully understand where everyone's coming from. "Bob" is so full of character and expression and thought...and Bill Murray managed to convey that on so many levels by his facial expressions, lines of sight, etc. As an actor and a personality, it's hard to ignore his great sense of humor and timing and the way he becomes the center of attention. Yet in this film he channels that. He still has all these funny lines and reactions to things...and you see what's going on behind the eyes too. Both he and Charlotte exert the power of saying very little yet communicating a great deal.

I could seriously go on and on about this. But I don't wanna give away the whole movie, and/or alienate the people who are totally falling asleep about this subject. So good morning for now, and to be continued...maybe.

::: posted by sugar at 2:03 AM



Thursday, September 18, 2003 :::
 
Right Now...

Do you guys remember the video for this song? (Van Halen for those of you scratching your head.) Had all kinds of little lines like "Right now someone is working too hard for not enough money." There's even an email forward running around like that, with sayings like "Right now someone is thinking of you as much as you're thinking of them."

So, with six weeks away til my new 26th year...what's up with me right now?

Dinner: Costco rotisserie chicken shredded into fried rice with veggies.

Summer reading 2003: The entire Harry Potter series. I got all obsessive and read the whole thing. Borrowed the first three from my sweetheart/rugrat P-Lo (thanks kid), then thought I could get away with reading the fourth at Barnes and Noble every day. Not! Gave in, scratched some money together and bought the paperback. Then the 5th one, the mother of em all at this point. The page count was getting higher and higher with each installment and #4 was about 700 pgs. Number 5 was in the 800s I believe (I left it at my Mom's)...my Dad bought it for me, and after reading it in less than 48 hours I read it again. That was one of the best page-turners I've had in a long time. I read it a couple more times before I came back to San Diego, and left it in Daly City on purpose. LOL

Wardrobe: As a nod to happier times, I'm wearing my 2002 SDAFF shirt. And my comfy Old Navy pajama bottoms. (Just a reminder: "pajamas" is one of the coolest words ever.)

TV: The programmers at NBC really know what they're doing. They replayed the season finales for Ed and West Wing earlier, to catch up the ppl who missed out and to re-hype the ppl who did. (Great for continuity.) Next week we get to see the premieres...OMG!

Ed and Carol are gonna work out years of sexual frustration, and actually attempt a REAL relationship [YAY!]...Meanwhile President Bartlet's daughter has been kidnapped by terrorists (and her bf is gonna have an ass-whoppin for giving her G). The [Republican] Speaker of the House (John Goodman!) has been inducted President after Bartlet invoked the 25th amendment and stepped down. Good lawd.

Tunes: As usual, it's a potpourri. Highlights, in no particular order: Kris R. turned me on to Keahiwai, so that's part of the list, very talented young girls...a trip to the Onyx with Andy L. had me diggin up all my great scatty jazz and smooth blues...Jason Mraz is a daily dose, ever since I discovered his music I can't go a day without it...Dido's new album - which I WILL purchase, along with some concert tickets when she arrives in California - which looks to be just as good as No Angel *crosses fingers*...and some soul from Angie Stone, India.Arie, Jill Scott & Cassandra Wilson. I can't give everyone credit or I'll be on this tip all night. Moving on...

Weather: Totally fuckin amazing. I'm going to miss this so much when I'm gone. Went to the driving range between 630-800pm, and it didn't get much closer to perfect. The sky, the air quality...the texture of the air [humidity]was enough to hold you but not enough to choke you. According to the Weather Channel, it's approximately 60 degrees. At 1am. Moments like this I wish I had someone to share the weather with. But there are more warm nights and breezy days ahead of me somewhere...

"Heartbeat": Irregular, so to speak. I'm too sleepy to get into this now...especially because I'm so rarely sleepy when I should be these days. To be continued...

::: posted by sugar at 1:03 AM



Tuesday, September 16, 2003 :::
 
dood. i give up.

ok, this happened a few days ago so sorry for the delay. (haha, i say that as if ppl are actually reading this site every day.) beezy and the man are back together. she asked him a question on the intellectual tip, and the answer showed some promise. therefore, things took a new turn down the reconciliation mend.

go figure.

"it takes every kind of people to make what life's about." - robert palmer

::: posted by sugar at 5:59 PM



Monday, September 15, 2003 :::
 
*hides*

'Nycfashiongirl'
Appeals DMCA Subpoena Request.

::: posted by sugar at 12:04 PM



Sunday, September 14, 2003 :::
 
surprisingly...this kinda sounds like me...


discover what candy you are @ quiz me

[except for the fact that i hate laffy taffy.]

::: posted by sugar at 11:49 AM



Saturday, September 13, 2003 :::
 
[I'm a dork, as many of you know. Why this time, you ask? Because I lagged on another Blog entry...since it would push my adorable Veggie Tales pictures to the archives. LOL. I guess I just need to actually use some CODE and put them in a table somewhere on this page, huh?]

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Is it just me, or is this the year of the breakup?

Beezy called this morning and told me that she and her man finally broke up. I say "finally" because, as I told her, she'd in some way felt unhappy or unsatisfied with him from the beginning. Yet they stayed together and she persisted because they "had a good time" and he "took such good care of me". A shadow of doubt was always hangin on her, and I could feel it. I'm pretty sure he could too. I can tell that he tried so hard to turn it all around, but it's so much better that things end now before it got too far. Sigh.

It took time for her to reach the realization about what makes a fulfilling relationship. Subconsciously she knew it because she found herself complaining and comparing on a regular basis. But in waking life she stayed for what she thought were the right reasons. She hoped that she would simply lighten up and her feelings would fully develop.

That kinda thing only really happens in the movies. In Sense and Sensibility, Colonel Brandon waited in the wings for Mary Anne until the very very end, and hooray for him they got married. But in the middle, he had to endure her whole drama with Willoughby and the fact that she sought a man which was nothing like [Brandon]. The thing is, that story occurred in 1800s England, where women had less choices. So of course Mary Anne marries Brandon with the knowledge that he loves her completely, and that she can grow into it. There were no female execs, no test tube babies and no Friendster. LOL

Yet some things haven't changed. The obsession for people to be part of a couple endures. Ppl have been psychoanalyzing this forever. Religious ppl say it has to do with the Adam's rib thing. That since Adam's rib resided in Eve, men and women were forever after waiting to be reunited. Freud would prolly have some gross theory about sex with one's mother or father. (Eek.) Etc.

So coming back full-circle, why are ppl breaking up so much these days? I think that because of all the tragedy in today's world, that people are getting together faster for fear of lonliness and death. You see the Trade Center fall, you see families being separated as soldiers go off to war. You wonder what else Osama and his buddies have planned for the future. And you don't want to face that alone. We all want someone to comfort us and say that things are gonna be alright. That they'll be there for you. So couples get together.

Then as the economic and political climates get stormy, so do the relationships that weren't founded on truly solid ground. People begin to question why they're together. A union created on a sunny day might not seem so pretty when the rain comes. They work twice as hard to achieve their goals, the stress mounts and they don't seem to be aligned with that other person in terms of those goals. I read somewhere that disaster and such difficult times tests a person's true character. Do they run or persevere? Do they know when to choose one over the other?

I don't claim that I'm anywhere near an expert on this kinda shiet. I just get to thinking about it a lot because of all the stories I come across. Afterwards I sit back and think about how I'm so not ready to be with anyone.

Meanwhile (at the Bat Cave), The New Guy is getting interesting. In another life I would've just acted on that. But I don't need yet another detail to make life complicated. I've been keeping him at arm's length, because if we hang out too much it'll most likely spell trouble. He knows it too, and has his own reasons for doing the same. So we end up with the marathon phone conversations. The last one had a lot going on under the surface...in the sense that we avoided talking to each other directly about sex and relationships. It became more an exchange of stories, which in turn answered each other's questions. I guess we were having a third-person discussion...together. LOL.

This song says it for this morning, I think:

Feel
[Robbie Williams]

Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I’ve been given

I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don’t understand

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that i live in
‘Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste

I don’t want to die
But I ain’t keen on living either
Before i fall in love
I’m preparing to leave her
I scare myself to death
That’s why i keep on running
Before I’ve arrived
I can see myself coming

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that i live in
‘Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel real love
And a life ever after
I cannot give it up

I just want to feel feal love
Feel the home that i live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins
To go to waste

I just wanna feel real love
In a life ever after
There’s a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It’s a real big place

Come and hold my hand
I want to contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I’ve been given
Not sure I understand...

::: posted by sugar at 9:54 AM



Wednesday, September 10, 2003 :::
 
I *heart* (my) little people

Last night I'm on IM with my niece, who's 11th bday is tomorrow. She's telling me about how she's so excited for her birthday party, which I will have to miss. Sigh. I've missed it every year since I went away. But anyway, I'm trying to get her to talk about who's going, what kinda cake she got...and in response she says "I really wish you were gonna be there."

*melting*

And to top it off, she had her first breakup this week. I know some of you are going "breakup"?! But at the very least you know if you went to Thomas Edison, ppl were boyfriend/girlfriend in like the 4th/5th grade for pete's sake. What did it mean? Not much, just that you really liked that person, you might kiss once, you have lunch together and hold hands.

So yeah, she had to dump her boyfriend because he kept asking her best friend out! What the hell is that!! They learn much earlier than I thought!! As mahals would say "it's those freakin jiggy rap videos. too much chingy and nelly. he needs to listen to some common." LOL But anyway, poor thing, she's all aggro because she's got almost all of her classes with him in it. I had to hold my tongue rather than say to her, "Honey it's only the beginning." What adds insult to injury is the fact that when she stepped up to him, he not only denied it, HE SHOVED HER. What kinda !@#$%^&*( is that?!!??!! So I just told her that things will work out in the end, and that he's lucky I don't live there yet. Otherwise I'd run over his feet with my car.

I'm so glad I've been able to partially raise these kids. Because if this was happening say, 15 years from now, when I have my own children I'd be freakin out. I'll be a lot more mellow by then.

But if someone pulled that BS on my daughter I'd shake the shiet out of em. Mwahahahhaaa...

(Could I at least help mastermind a practical joke?)

::: posted by sugar at 11:08 AM



Tuesday, September 09, 2003 :::
 
Awh man!

I wrote this long thing about how Friday night just became the best night in a long while. I think during that time that Blogger was down I lost the post. Sigh.

Well re-writing everything will be impossible, but I would like to thank Princess Sophia for a wonderfuly enlightening and heart-warming conversation. I'm so blessed to have a friend like you!

Anyway, this post is just to prove that just when things get really dark, there's a flash of light that makes it all better.

::: posted by sugar at 2:00 PM



Friday, September 05, 2003 :::
 
Forgiveness, Will and Grace

those are actually three seperate things i want to talk about right now. i'm not referring to the TV show (although i do love it, hehe) this time.

i used to be notorious about forgiving people. partly because of my faith, partly because i know how it sucks to fuck up and not have someone forgive you. that kinda crossed over into the whole September 11/think-about-what's-really-important-philosophy. then *stuff* started to happen to me, and i realized that my forgiving ways were coming back to bite BIG TIME. i also got tired of forgiving the same people over and over again. so of course my tolerence levels go down somewhat.

sometimes you forgive someone by default, cuz enough time has passed by and you don't really feel the need to bring up old shiet. other times you get suckered into forgiving someone because "everyone else" has. (freakin peer pressure, i say!) personally, i feel that it's a weight to carry when you haven't forgiven someone. and that we can't run around with a "holier than thow" attitude. my shiet stinks just like everyone else's.

forgetting is another story.

i know a lot of people that blend those two things together. that once they're forgiven, it's business as usual. that ain't right. look, i'm not saying that we gotta bring up old shiet for the rest of our lives. but i don't see it as a lot to ask for you to carry yourself a little differently from that point on. make me feel like i did the right thing to forgive you & that i'm not just punkin myself. at least that's the courtesy i extend to other people. is that so difficult? i'm not asking for ass kissing for the rest of our lives. far from it. just a little more...conscientiousness. is that a word? (why yes, it is, according to merriam and webster.)

[out of respect for those involved there are a lot of details i'm going to leave out of the following story. details that might better explain my thoughts. this time around, i'm not really looking for opinions, though you're welcome to give them. but this is a multi-level issue. just bear with me.]

so right now i'm in a pickle about forgiveness. the primary offense was not to me. i was indirectly affected/offended. i'm aware of both sides...yet certain things have been said and done that can't be ignored. the one who was...shall we say "offended" has chosen a path of forgiveness, which doesn't surprise anyone around him. yet they, especially me...feel conflicted. because of the special circumstances of our relationships, i feel betrayed. i worry (probably unneccessarily) about the repeating of certain mistakes...about certain people not feeling the extent and consequences of their actions. andy would say that i get that from my asian/Catholic guilt thing...i say it's that mixed with my ordeals in child-rearing/psychology. or am i just a sadist?

so with all that said, i'm wondering how i'm supposed to reconcile how i feel about all the lies that went on. since the "offended" seems to be taking it well, i should too, right? not really. i guess all the years playing switzerland and hosting geneva conventions over and over have finally gotten to me. right now i'm just keeping my distance from this person because i don't wanna try and be fake-nice, nor do i wanna say something i'll regret later.

Forgiveness is easy, but do I have the Will to forget, and the Grace to not be ghetto about this whole thing within a respectable time frame?

sigh. the answer is yes, but it'll definitely take time.

God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

::: posted by sugar at 5:49 PM


 
words

i have a friend who asks me for insight/advice on a fairly regular basis. this doesn't make her a bad person, nor does it make me a better person. but what strikes me is this: although she's older than me by a few years, and on paper she's got a lot more going for herself...what makes me qualified to give her advice on anything?

and it's not that i'm telling her what to do and not do. it's just observing things that have gone unnoticed and answering questions only when asked. asking questions that should have been asked. i hear myself tell her things and i find it hard to believe that it's coming out of my mind. makes me feel old. yes, we've established the "old soul" thing. but...*sigh*. i found myself saying to her, "you'd think with all this insight i'd be in a better place in my life than i am now. but then again, i never woulda known all this if i hadn't been through hell and back again."

before i moved to san diego, someone gave me one of those sayings hung on a scroll. it reads:

The higher the goal,
The harder the climb.
But taken each day,
One step at a time,
The goal is accomplished,
The dream is attained.
And the prizes?
The wisdom and strength
That are gained.

I can't help but fast-forward sometimes in my mind, to times ahead where my worries are different if not less, to graduation and travel and quality time with my family. To think that I'll be able to look back and say "Damn I remember that 2003 was one hell of a year." The one thing I'll always remember though, was telling Mike during the drama at the Madeline St. apt: "If I can survive this month I can survive anything." Whenever I feel down I look back on those days and remind myself that I made it out in one piece. And that things will "get a whole lot better", instead of "[it] could be worse."

One of the taglines on an 8 Mile poster said, "Every minute is another chance."

::: posted by sugar at 5:09 PM



Thursday, September 04, 2003 :::
 
are you freakin kidding me?!?

i don't want to embarass the person who wrote this (tempting)... i just can't believe that someone conceived the following thought:

final destination 2
****1/2
it's virtually impossible to conceive a more perfectly executed popcorn thriller, FD2 dazzles with the most intense death scenes ever.

::: posted by sugar at 1:59 PM


 
On the DL

File sharing has been going on FOREVER, we all know this. But then Napster came along and everything got blown wide open. There have been lawsuits here and there. Servers have been shut down, or threats of the existing ones charging fees per file shared or per month online. Things have seemed relatively quiet...

But the scenario of the RIAA lawsuits seems a little too close to home. Not that they have the legal power to sue every John and Jane Doe in America for this, that's impossible. (Or is it?)

There is actually a database being compiled of IP addresses and usernames on the various p2p (peer to peer) networks that is basically a hit list for the RIAA now. You can search the list for your name here.

OK, with the paranoia part out of the way, I have this to say: I know that this is going to be one of those ethical, chicken-or-the-egg debates that never end. But I, for one, hope that sharing doesn't get shut down. On the one angle, downloading individial songs makes it easier to make my CDs (which everyone knows are all mixed up). It's not like tape dubbing where you can put the CD in, dub one song, and then switch. Another reason why it's good and should be kept legal is the whole exposure thing. I would NEVER have been able to get ahold of so many different genres and artists without p2p. I would've had to spend all my time in record stores that maybe allow you to listen to CDs before buying them. (If they even have em!) And I'm happy to be able to share the independant/up-and-coming artists with anyone that's looking for something cool and new. Some artists - like Jason Mraz and John Mayer - actually encourage taping and file sharing of their live sets! SEE! And what about all the DJs out there, whose faces we rarely see and whose names all blend together after a while. Having their mixes on p2p networks can't hurt their careers much.

This is a petition against the fall of p2p. Who knows what it will do. Capitalist beaurocrats will see to their ends one way or another. I know that artists including Metallica, Sarah McLachlan, Christina Aguilera and Blink-182 are among those who do not support piracy. But the question must be asked: is p2p really piracy? Are you really losing that much money by allowing file sharing to continue?

Chicken or the egg, egg or the chicken...who knows? In any case, I'd like to thank each and every person I've shared files with. :-)


::: posted by sugar at 11:13 AM



Wednesday, September 03, 2003 :::
 
White Flag, Part 2

OH HELL YEAH!

The video was released yesterday and is now in rotation on VH1, and I suppose MTV if they still play music videos anymore. Last I checked they kept replaying the Madonna/Britney kiss. (You gotta wonder if Christina A. is irked that her kiss didn't get much airplay.)

Anyway, the video is available to view here, and personally I think that it's really well done. Or perhaps it's the fact that I relate to it so closely, who knows. Basically she's constantly almost running into her ex, who she still loves, but because she feels it better to let things go after all this time and everything that's happened..they don't talk to each other. But the feelings will always be there - you can see the feelings between the two, and that they're keeping up with each other's comings and goings. I read on some site about it being a "stalker-ish" thing. Am I crazy to think that that's not really the point? Sounds like 1) media sensationalizing or 2) me in denial. LOL It's prolly a healthy combination of both. So click the link and watch it already! [P.S. - That really is David Boreanaz, a.k.a. Angel in the video.]

For the record, we are not "relating" to this because of the last one. Whether you like it or not, I'm referring to the very first one. When you watch the video and they're at the bar...classic. So feeling that. Well...so feeling the whole thing. As ususal. I guess I'm lucky that there is music out there I can relate to, since I'm not that good at writing my own. I can't even imagine how empty my life would be if the only songs I could relate to were "Shake Yo Tailfeather" and shiet like that.

Anyway, she's going to keep with tradition and appear on Craig Kilborn tomorrow nite, 12:30 after Letterman. Hehe, another reason why I like her so much is because we both have a crush on Craig. I wonder if she's gonna wear her "Craig" tank top. LOL (What do you think, Boo?) Yay, the new album comes out September 30, and YAY she's going on tour and there's no way I can miss that show. Woohoo!

White Flag - D.Armstrong

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

::: posted by sugar at 1:42 AM



Tuesday, September 02, 2003 :::
 
headphones

[good morning!]

after discovering that my oh-so-cool speaker system (a bday present from last year) has a little jack in the back for headphones, i've been plugging in a little more often. that way, i can listen to music without disturbing sleeping roommates with the *boom* of the subwoofer. it's also helpful when you're in a musical mood that doesn't suit anyone but you. and/or when you have no problem hearing the same song repeated for a few rounds, LOL.

but in a sense, i really like the whole headphones thing cuz it's like having someone sing in your ear. and since they're the DJ type headphones, all background sounds melt into the background where they belong.

hooray!

::: posted by sugar at 10:01 AM

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