Monday, June 30, 2003 :::
 
French Chewing Gum

An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

French man: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

French: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The
American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of course."

Frenchman: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the States."

The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to France."

::: posted by sugar at 11:57 AM



Friday, June 13, 2003 :::
 
yknow, it's unfortunate that the blog has not been a good representative of how i'm livin these days....but i guess now it's living up to it's title...

::: posted by sugar at 10:44 AM


 
musical break

all this time at home has got me watching a lot of music channels and listening to radio...between jason mraz with a video (YAY!) and jewel struttin around in daisy dukes, there's a lot of variety out there! and michelle branch's new album is coming out soon. as i listen to her first single, all i gotta say is..."LOL"...

Michelle Branch
"Are You Happy Now "

Now, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me
And I know there's just no use
When all your lies become your truth and I don't care... yeah, yeah, yeah

Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You took all there was to take,
And left me with an empty plate
And you don't care about it, yeah.
And I have given up this game
I'm leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care, yeah, yeah yeah,

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you're happy now, oohh oohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?

Do you have everything you want?
You could never give something you aint got
You can't run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye?
and tell me that you`re happy now, oohh oohhh
come on tell it to my face or have i been erased,
are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
are you happy now?

Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?
I've had that all I can take
And I'm about to break
Cause I'm happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Are you happy now?

::: posted by sugar at 10:39 AM



Thursday, June 05, 2003 :::
 
thought for the day

Being unemployed is the most expensive vacation ever.

::: posted by sugar at 10:22 AM


 
I thought I'd score higher for Samantha...go figure...

You scored 50% Carrie
Your answers peg you as a Carrie-type, much influenced by the Air Sign qualities associated with Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. Like confident Carrie, you're curious and perceptive, always seeking answers and never satisfied with the superficial. An Air Sign influence can lead to indecision and an avoidance of tough issues, like with Carrie and her on-again, off-again attachment to Mr Big. Forward thinking, incredibly intelligent and witty, you exude quirky charm. You'd be utterly bored by someone who's just a pretty face or a hot body - though you don't mind looking and flirting. You're more turned on by an equally smart and funny mate, someone who challenges your mind and makes you laugh. You love to talk, so you need a good listener who's open to playful and eccentric ideas about love and lovemaking.


You scored 20% Charlotte
You're a romantic at heart, strongly influenced by the intuitive, profound and sometimes naive Water Signs - Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. You're like a mother, a mystery and a poet all in one. Though on the surface you may seem innocent and all about seeking the good in people, beneath the surface, you hide secret yearnings for intimacy, for attachment and ideal love. You're looking for a knight in shining armour, a soul mate, someone who will complete you and tether you to the earth when you get carried away with your fantasies. You're super-sensitive, soaking up the moods of others; you're free with your emotions, crying at commercials and sad movies. You also provide a shoulder to cry on and open arms for hugs. Be careful that you're not so wide-eyed and trusting that you get taken in by some cunning wolf in sheep's clothing.


You scored 20% Miranda
You chose many of the same answers that Earth Sign, like Miranda, the cynical but pragmatic lawyer, might have chosen. Like her, you don't give your heart up to just anyone. She shies away from a relationship with Steve because he's 'just' a bartender, not something more conventionally ambitious or stable. Those with powerful Earth Sign qualities - characteristics associated with Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn - are cautious in love and seek stability and status over nearly anything else. Earth Signs provide a steady, realistic attitude and they can bring order out of chaos. You're incredibly sensual, and beneath that smart, expensive business suit of yours, you yearn for intimacy. But you are hesitant to give up your material needs, your career ambitions or your responsibilities for a passionate moment that might not turn out the way you'd hope.


You scored 10% Samantha
You identify with Samantha's bold and liberated Fire Sign qualities, characteristics associated with the Signs of Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. You're strong, audacious and larger than life - and you take what you want! Sometimes you can even be thoughtless and selfish, as you get so caught up in craving immediate gratification and excitement that you overlook someone else's feelings. Your personal style probably reflects your desires: sleek, low-cut, revealing just a bit more than might be considered acceptable. Watch out that you don't come on too strong, though. You could scare potential suitors off with all your drama. If you seek so much attention, the more basic qualities of the Fire Signs could be burned right out of the picture. Show less skin or cleavage and more of your creativity, your vibrant leadership skills and courageous generosity.

::: posted by sugar at 10:19 AM


 
Miss Universe
[written 06.04.03]

Good lawd, I just watched my first Miss Universe pageant for the first time in 2 or 3 years (maybe more).

THEY SUCK NOW!

First of all, they took away the little kids that sing "You are my star...you light my way..." and present roses to the chicks in the evening gown competition. I mean I remember some pageants that replaced them for military guys or whatever, but I didn't know the kids got the boot for good! Sucks!!!!

During key "waiting" moments or when people are parading around, they play some "remixed" version of the violin song used in De Beers (aka "Diamonds Are Forever") commercials. I kept wondering when I'd start to see couples' silhouettes and sparkaling diamonds. But for what it's worth, I did see the new Miss Universe crown...some ugly ugly ugly piece of shit with $250k worth of diamonds Mikimoto pearls in it. Eek! Looked like something that Ariel (Little Mermaid) might've worn if she'd been crowned Queen of the Sea...only uglier.

Seems like the best way to make it to the finals is to fuck up. Miss South Africa almost ate it during the evening gown competition, tripping over herself....she made Top 3. Miss Japan didn't even bother to wear a gown - she had a glittery bra top with this silky skirt...that had feathers on the bottom. But it was pretty dramatic when they called her name, since the girls have their backs turned at first. She had this white jacket thing on, then BAM! skin all over the place.

So congrats to Miss Dominican Republic, and watch your back, cuz Miss South Africa is waiting for the chance to take your (ugly) crown!

::: posted by sugar at 10:01 AM



Wednesday, June 04, 2003 :::
 
tip of the day

When you're up hella late and reading email, listening to mp3s with your DJ-grade Sony headphones, keep your voice down. Cuz when you say "WHAT?!"...it will most likely end up sounding hella loud.

(oops.)

::: posted by sugar at 2:34 AM

ARCHIVES :::

"The Things We Think, But Do Not Say"