Monday, March 31, 2003 :::
 
METEORA

Linkin Park couldn't have picked a better time to release their 2nd album.

Yes, I actually purchased a CD! And I even got the CD/DVD combo.

I highly highly recommend it. These are six really creative guys on so many levels, and if you think of more than Chester screaming his lyrics and scratch the surface, you'll see what great artists these guys are. (Literally! Mike Shinoda and Joe Hahn are art school grads who paint, draw, sketch, grafitti, etc.)

If you've already bought the CD and didn't check out the enhanced features, you're missing out. Normally I don't care for checking out the enhanced stuff on CDs, but they did a really good job. Be sure to check out LPTV. :-)

Thankfully, the energy and the messages of this album couldn't have come at a better time. They rock! Can't wait til their tour comes 'round this way...

::: posted by sugar at 10:54 PM



Thursday, March 27, 2003 :::
 
"how are you?"

have you ever thought about how many times a day you say and hear this phrase?

you never really notice until you're completely miserable and want to say "I'M FUCKIN SHITTY AND MISERABLE AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN, OK?!" because then you have to do either one of two things:

1. avoid conversation altogether. (this can only work for so long.)
2. find creative ways to avoid the question so you don't have to lie.

since #1 requires no further explanation, we will continue on to examples of #2...

EXAMPLE 1: The Diversion
them: hey! how are you?
me: oh hey!! how are you??
repeating their question with equal or increased enthusiasm creates a distraction and forces the conversation towards everyone's favorite topic: themselves! keep in mind that this is a great tactic when you're just walking around the office/school/mall. where is written that you HAVE to stop when someone says "hey"? just keep moving!

EXAMPLE 2: The Calendar Crutch
them: hey! how are you?
you: well, yknow *shrug and smile as much as you can manage*...it's monday.
capitalizing on the fact that mondays (*bleh*) and wednesdays (aka hump day) are the most trying takes attention away from your lack of smiles and such. tuesdays are "better than monday", thursday is "just one step closer to friday" and friday is "hey, TGIF..." see?

for someone like me, who either wears her heart on her sleeve in her weaker moments or has the poker face of a lifetime, these tactics have been my saving grace while i've been...regrouping and regaining strength, shall we say.

yknow honestly, my thoughts have been so scattered and such this past week that i'd been avoiding the blog. i miss him so much. and yet as the sadness becomes less and less, i actually feel a little anxious about that. there's a contradiction in my heart between wanting to be ok again and what might happen if i'm no longer feeling bad about this anymore. cristy helped me see what i would have normally told anyone else in my position: this is not my fault nor is it a reflection on me. things will get better no matter how dark it seems. i'm entitled to every emotion i've got but i can't let it take too strong a hold on me. etc.

i'm actually thinking i'll be able to sleep tonight for the first time in a long time. time to stop this computer stuff before i get my 2nd wind and wake up...

::: posted by sugar at 9:38 PM



Sunday, March 23, 2003 :::
 
I didn't hear you leave, I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing, it might change my memory

Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want, but I can't hide
I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends, they might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed, risk forgetting all that's been

Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want, but I can't hide
I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me
I won't leave, I can't hide, I cannot be, until you're resting here with me.

Here With Me
Written by D. Armstrong, P. Statham & P. Gabriel

::: posted by sugar at 3:53 PM



Friday, March 14, 2003 :::
 
tee gee eye eff.

WOOHOO!

::: posted by sugar at 7:24 AM



Thursday, March 13, 2003 :::
 
conversation of the day

me: so what's your (for lack of a better word) secret?
ben: ??
me: in terms of maintaining a relationship with someone so far away
[note: she lives in japan.]
me: who in some ways is very different, yet very much the same
ben: Six words
me: (he counted!)
ben: Please
ben: Thank You
ben: I love you
ben: they go a long way...
me: :-)
me: that just made my day
ben: Patience is another one
ben: Letting go of "self" is important
ben: HARD
ben: But important

There really is so much uncertainty out there. So many influences that can make you fall on the wayside. But what I do know and believe in my heart is that, in spite of our many differences, being with Darryl has made me so happy. And not even in the tangible senses of where we've gone and what we've done. It's just those feelings of happiness that are so overwhelming, I've had to say "I can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be or anyone that I'd rather be with."

And contrary to popular belief, just because there's no clearcut answer to questions like "When did you know that you loved him?" or "What do you love most about him?" doesn't mean that our relationship is doomed. It would only be doomed if we gave up on the idea that we are better together than apart. That we would rather face our futures alone instead of together.

I'm nowhere near that at this point.

::: posted by sugar at 12:28 AM



Monday, March 10, 2003 :::
 
manic monday

it's kinda creepin me out that this headache isn't going away after 2 days.

good gracious it was so busy at the office today! oh the update on my position is that HR talked to my agency, telling them how much they "LOVE" me. i'm a great fit for the department in terms of my skeelz, my personality, blah blah blah. HOWEVER, the company claims they need another 60 days to determine whether they can really go long term and add this position.

so at least this means that i have a job for another two months.

in other news

the documentary screening is in play...march 18th at 6:30pm, Downtown Library. all i need now is a speaker or two. but the advertising is going to print, the materials are being FedEx'ed to me, and the library is practically bending over backwards to accomodate me.

WOOHOO!

::: posted by sugar at 6:41 PM



Wednesday, March 05, 2003 :::
 
another action-packed night at the library

there are no laptop hookups available...so rather than use my friend's supercool vaio laptop, i have to use the school's marginally unbearable keyboard. it's probably one of the first ones ever made - the spacebar sticks and you have to really show the backspace key who's the boss. the enter key is a whole other problem.

*argh*

further proof that procrastination and too much commitment to the community are BAD. especially when mingled together.

so i have basically 2 weeks to pull together this little event (not a party, mind you, it's related to a PBS documentary)...and in my heart of hearts i feel crappy because i procrastinated in the name of life. i know i can do it, but it's going to take some rushing. i can only hope i don't look like an idiot at the end. i'll let you know afterwards.

*sigh*

if only i could get into my yahoo account, i could get to work. instead i'm going to continue blogging as it's been awhile...

champagne wishes and caviar dreams

my friend moosey went and got himself laid off yesterday. but before you go and cry for him, argentina, hang back a second.

not only is he going to get severance pay until MAY,
he's going to spend the next week or so in vegas, staying at the monte carlo for $40something a night,
he actually wanted to leave the company anyway,
and being laid off entitles him to unemployment benefits.

purty sweet if you ask me! wish you all the best my friend. :-)

in other news...

it's nice to be missed. it's sad to say that darryl and i "miss" each other so much (due to scheduling) that hearing/saying it is becoming routine. i'm going to revert back to using those words sparingly and finding alternatives to express my thoughts of missing. however, it was very heartwarming when mahals decided to tell me that he missed being able to talk to me as often as before. *awh* right back at'cha darlin'.

the norah jones dvd is the shiz. live from new orleans in this very intimate setting. i've said this many times before but she's just so damn groovy it's outta control!

(haha, reminds me of my nephew who taught me to say 'ballin outta control' a few years ago. just stuck in my head. yknow you're old when the rugrats in your life are teachin you slang. although he's in high school now...*eek*)

hooray for my honey who went and bought it for me "just because". :-)

my "sis"

i use quotes because i'm referring to darryl's sister jinah. to recap, she introduced us after me knowing her for 3 years and thinking she didn't have a brother. anyway, got my first email from her since she moved to denver for a better job and her first home.

*sigh*

it was a spam mail of sorts because of all the people she wrote. but i could hear her voice as i was reading it, the good and the great of it, and made me all misty-eyed. i always said that one of the best things about my relationship with darryl was that it gave me the chance to actually see jinah more than once a month, and for more than 10 minutes at a time. very quickly i got used to the nights on the couch chattin, breakfasts, late dinners, and just impromptu hanging out because we both happened to be at the house.

not that i'm never going to see her again, but i just miss her sense of humor, her style, her good heart and her wit "available on tap". and of course she was a big help in key moments where i need a 'darryl translator'. she's accepted a job at KUSA in denver, the big NBC station out there, and it looks like a great fit for her so far. i really wish her all the best.

and i can't wait to crash at her house in the mountains! it's like something out of a norman rockwell painting. complete with fishing pond frozen over for ice skating down the hill.

::: posted by sugar at 8:50 PM



Sunday, March 02, 2003 :::
 
desert island discs

please don't get these mixed up with the kind of albums/singles i'd want to be stuck with if i was on a deserted island...i call them that because they've been out of my every day rotation for so long (for a number of different reasons) that they might as well be washed up on a deserted island somewhere.

but i miss them. so, in no particular order:

1) Under The Table And Dreaming - Dave Matthews Band
[This was what many people thought to be their first album, it was actually their 3rd. They'd been touring for 2 years before that even happened!]

2) 10,000 Maniacs - Our Time In Eden
[sentimental value from high school...also natalie merchant just has that groovy voice, yknow? one of the few CDs i would just play all the way through and not have to skip tracks]

3) Billy Joel - "New York State Of Mind"
[I just really miss the big city. Plus, he's the Piano Man, dood! I don't give a *&^%$ what's up with his personal life.]

4) Stevie Wonder - "Songs In The Key Of Life"
[Stevie. Is. The. Man.]

5) Pete Rock & CL Smooth - "When They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)"
[I'll award 1,000,000 points to the first person that can tell me what T.R.O.Y. stood for!!!]

6) Everything Madonna recorded in the 80s.

Also, if anyone from Amazon.com is listening - You guys really screwed things up after buying out CDNow.com...instead of pulling up an artist to see their discography, it's all intersperced with random-ass singles they had but no one cared about, their albums are all out of order and you can barely make sense of the screen in the midst of "recommendations" and lists that other Amazon shoppers are trying to push on you. I tried to sort all of Madonna's albums by "Original Release Date" and what's the first item on the list? "Keep It Together - CD SINGLE". HELLO!! Don't believe me? Look for yourself...sigh.

7) Clair Marlo - Let It Go
[Ok fair warning - she looks kinda creepy on the CD cover. But her voice is pretty damn amazing, and the entire CD was recorded all at once - meaning that all the musicians were recording with her simultaneously. Doesn't happen often, but sounds great. "Til They Take My Heart Away" is the best song on there, no doubt.]

8) Brandy - Never Say Never
[hey, it was a good album! released right when I moved to San Diego and right in the middle of the "Boy Is Mine" rivalry.]

etc. etc. etc.

::: posted by sugar at 10:54 PM

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