Friday, December 20, 2002 :::
 
too much going on!

the quick shift in weather (60s-70s to 40s-50s) is provoking a cough for me and lots of cold rain for the county.

oakenfold tonight at 4th and B. i'm almost worried about how mainstream or how satisfying this show is going to be. plus...my old friend Eddie won't be meeting me there like he usually does for events like this. he will be missed. but an oakey party is an oakey party, it'll be fun :-)

i leave to go home tomorrow night, and i'll be back after the new year. between now and then...my trip is one big question mark because i'm not sure what i'm coming home to. i'm not sure how to handle Darryl coming up, it'll depend on what i find when i walk through the door. but nevertheless he is driving up on the 31st. i'm not even thinking much of the fact that i'm going to be meeting his parents sometime that week. sounds more severe than it really is.

meanwhile there's never enough money in the bank. light a candle for me folks, i'm applying to yet another "sure thing" position where "it's a cake walk" for me and "I'll put in for you on this one." for once this just might be it. woohooooo... no more gettin jerked around by the EDD.

can you believe that i called them earlier (the Employment Development Department) and the guy at the very end said "Thank you for calling the ADD." No wonder they keep effin up my claim, they don't even know where they are!

eeeeeeeek!

meanwhile, happy Friday everyone! Just 5 more days til Christmas (if you're into that kind of thing)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::: posted by sugar at 11:20 AM


 
Generation Gap moment:

I had to explain to Darryl what TRL was yesterday.

::: posted by sugar at 2:14 AM



Thursday, December 19, 2002 :::
 
ERF

After tiring from the news, I turned it to:

VH1: a "Jen Loves Ben" documentary

MTV: Jenny On The Block video

BET: talking by the folks on 106 and Park...then Jenny From The Block video.

E!: Maid In Manhattan promo show.

::: posted by sugar at 6:20 PM


 
WOW.

I finished watching The Two Towers an hour ago... While Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets premiere at a similarly late show put me to sleep in the middle (where Hermione gets messed up); I not only stayed awake for the entire movie, I'm sitting here wired wishing I had someone to discuss the movie with.

WOOOOHOOOOOO!

But it's 4am, I didn't go home and I can't be on the computer all night. I'll be back in a few hours...heehee...

(I'm already plotting when I get to see it again...)

::: posted by sugar at 3:57 AM



Wednesday, December 18, 2002 :::
 
anyway, i'm sitting here in my "office" (HAHAHAHAHA) trying to get myself together...and i've got the TV and IM babysitting me so I don't lose my mind...and I'm starting to notice some interesting patterns...and losing my mind anyway...

--I love my Jenny Bunny, but Jenny From The Block is workin my last nerve.
[1 video] x [3 music television stations] x [play almost every hour on each station] = ME CRAZY

My saving grace is that I can tune her out, see Ben Affleck in her video, and hear the Beatnuts sample...

--Tori Amos is freaky. Her latest video shows her with her head atop a single leg. Kinda like that lamp in A Christmas Story. ("You'll shoot your eye out!")

--Beyonce Knowles has a really great agent. She managed to go from girl group fame, to the lucky biatch that gets to be in a (sorta bad) movie with Mekhi Phifer and Mos Def (hot boys) fame, to the kinda unnecessary Austin Powers sidekick fame, to the I'm-engaged-to-Jay-Z-so-I'm-gonna-cross-over-into-rap-star-video-dressing fame. Which to me means, GAHD DERNIT I NEVER GET ANY BREAK FROM BEYONCE!!

*not that she can't sing, she can. but good lawd I even need a break from my Mom sometimes, and I LOVE my mom. na-mean?*

--people like seeing other people on trial, and other people stranger if not as strange as them. [all the countless People's Court type shows, and everything that falls under the Jerry Springer genre]

--If you know P.Diddy well enough, it doesn't matter if you're ugly or have a whack name or even if you can rhyme or dance. You too can have a music video with scantilly-clad girlies at an ocean-front mansion. [Birdman]

--Or if your dad is the "Prince of !@#$%^& Darkeness"...you too can cover Madonna tunes and win an award for style from Joan Rivers and the E Network. Doesn't matter that you weigh double most of the people you were nominated with and have a bad attitude towards your family and people in general. If you dye your hair pink and wear huge flowers on your head, you've got style! [Kelly Osbourne]

--If I can prove that I'm completely unglued about someone famous, they'll not only be NOT freaked out, they'll come to my house and redecorate my place for FREE. [VH1's Rock the House]

--Why do makeup artists do girl's faces so that their entire faces are all one color almost? Flesh colored lipstick, those ever popular eyebrows that almost aren't there, and then hella eyeliner.

--JC from *NSYNC is next on the solo artist bandwagon...he's got a single on the Drumline soundtrack. I am confident that the movie will better than the single...

--Orlando Bloom is just hot stuff. Even now that his hair has grown back and he's not doing that bow and arrow action. Good lawd!


--Denzel Washington looks just as fine on the red carpet in an Armani suit as he does on TRL in jeans and a Yankee cap. Woohoo!!

--Brittany Murphy came up! She had her big break as the slightly pudgy outcast/sidekick in Clueless... Then after such...amazing...movies...as Bongwater, she resurfaced in Girl Interrupted...supporting roles here and there...then told Michael Douglas that she'd "never te-elllllllllll" in Don't Say A Word...and then most recently had her big soft-core porn debut with Eminem in 8 Mile. All the while showing more and more of her...skeleton over the years. Wow I'm three weeks older than her! Interesting...

--The UPS and FedEx guys in my area are getting slllloooooowwwly better looking.

--It's time for me to get back to work.

*hee*

::: posted by sugar at 3:57 PM


 
good gawd did you see that last blog? you'd think i was trying to get into stanford or something.

::: posted by sugar at 3:00 PM



Tuesday, December 17, 2002 :::
 
musings over the teevee

Whoever invented the "last" button on the remote control is supercool.

I'm making good use of it while Primal Fear and Quiz Show are on simultaneously.

For those of you that haven't seen either one of these films, or missed one of em...you've got plenty to chew on if you're hungry for a great script and good actors in action. Quiz Show is actually based on the true story of Twenty-One, a game show from the 50s that was manipulated and rigged for the sake of ratings. In today's day and age, something like this is met with a blahzay attitude because we all suppose it happens all the time. But during this time...even though I wasn't alive back then, I know that it was still an age of innocence in many ways. People flipped out if a girl's skirt showed her knees back then. Not that many people had TVs. Think Back To The Future (part one). So back to the plot, essentially what the NBC had done was manipulate the winner at the time, a not-so-good-looking Jewish guy (played by John Turturro), and get him to lose to a good-looking WASP (played by Ralph Fiennes). It wasn't the only incident, but it was what tipped off a Congressional investigation and the revealing of a conspiracy/coverup.

There are so many great dialogues in this movie. So many explorations of human nature going on. Would you appear on a rigged quiz show for fame and fortune if you felt like it was foolproof and you'd never get caught? If so, how long would you stay on before you rigged yourself off the show? Wouldn't you be afraid that by agreeing to the whole thing that the network would "own" you? (It's like working for The Firm!) Wouldn't you feel bad for the people you were fooling? Family, friends, the public? And if you realized you were on the other side of things and realized that you were being fooled, how far would you go to try and bring the house down? Was this the beginning of the end of honest portrayals in the media?

I love the ending where the guy who led the investigation is being congratulated for his good work, for getting a confession out of Ralph Fiennes character. But you can tell he feels terrible about ruining this other guy's life (even though he was guilty). "I thought we were gonna get television. But looks like television is gonna get us." Conveniently, the executives of NBC and the primary sponsor were never blamed and they lived out of the US for a few years til it all blew over. Musta be nice to be rich and white in the 50s!

Most people didn't hear about Quiz Show because of its obvious nerd factor on a mainstream scale. It was the 4th film that Robert Redford directed. (Good lawd, can you believe that he was born in 1937?! And he's still sexy in that distinguished way!)

Primal Fear was the movie that made me totally flip over Ed Norton. It's about a Cardinal (someone high up on the totem pole in the Catholic Church) who is murdered, and an altar boy (Norton) is the primary suspect who swears he's innocent. Since this wasn't based a true story and it's a murder mystery, I can't say too much without giving away spoilers. The plot has its cheesy moments between Richard Gere's character and Laura Linney's character, but if you just focus on the whole whodunnit angle this movie is supercool.

Both great rentals, or catch it on cable. Both are movies that you have to watch from the beginning uninterrupted otherwise you'll be like "huh?"

Anyway, 24's on. Buh bye!

::: posted by sugar at 9:06 PM



Thursday, December 12, 2002 :::
 
we are rather bummed out that there haven't been any comments posted lately.

i know many of you always have something to say! so exercise those first amendment rights, why dontcha!

remind me that there is intelligent life out there!! ok, well remind me that there is life out there!!

hee.

::: posted by sugar at 10:10 AM



Tuesday, December 10, 2002 :::
 
tick tick tick...

good lawd time passes by so fast. another tuesday morning! less than two weeks and i'll be back in the bay for a while.

the sun is shining and today is december 10th. i'm wearing shorts and a tee like it ain't no thing. we cali folk are pretty dern lucky! let's take a moment to be thankful...*moment*.

::: posted by sugar at 10:14 AM



Monday, December 09, 2002 :::
 
we bid spinfamous a fond farewell and bon voyage...

...as he leaves for HELLASUPERCOLD Helsinki, Finland, where he's gonna be spinning the night away...selling cd's...and just partying in general.

have fun moosey!

::: posted by sugar at 3:22 PM


 
yknow how anemic people need more iron?

well i'm hip-hop anemic. or...well you know what i mean.

i need more!

i basically don't hear any at all on the weekend, unless we went to a club.

i musta thrown on "happy" by ashanti two days ago, and i could feel him waiting for the song to end. kinda sucks.

then again, if he played the cult i don't think i could listen to the whole cd.

so i'm sitting here, listening to alicia keys and realizing that this isn't enough to cure my fix. i got some blackstar, eminem, e40, method man, 2pac, biggie, jurassic 5, common, eve, q-tip...*smiles*

i want my BET! ;-)

::: posted by sugar at 12:03 PM


 
searching for a purpose

i'm pretty darn lucky that people have given me some groovy and thoughtful gifts over the years. yet i'm a geek and have not found myself making use of many of them.

examples! in no particular order...

--the lacquer/mother of pearl box that darryl bought me in korea. absolutely gorgeous. but that means i'll have to put away the current favorite jewelry/miscellaneous box where i've put everything?

--the mini-kimono, mounted and framed by my friend katricia (isn't that one of the coolest names?)... i have stuff on almost every wall of my room...except the one that is blocked by my open door. i kinda feel like that's a dis to kat so i've been thinking i'm going to either put it somewhere else or replace something on the wall currently. thing is, every other wall in the house save ONE in sillytofuboy's room is BLANK. and this isn't exactly some expansive piece of art. 11x17 i think? i guess i could put it in the bathroom, it matches my towel. sigh. i gotta get mounting stuff.

--the photo album/memory book kit that turtle gave me the first christmas we knew each other. i keep thinking that no photos are good enough to put in there. when i take a really great vacation i'll put it to use then. it's the old school kind with scrapbook corners. i used to think that we'd take a bunch of pictures and it could be an album of us. but life don't work that way.

--my mom gave me this gorgeous japanese silk scarf...it's ivory with a few pink chrysanthemums woven into it and fringe at the ends. sadly i've never used it, i did however lend it to a dear heart at my old company who needed a wrap for a party. i have a premonition that i'll be using it in 2003.

--some cool candles but not enough counter space.

sigh.

::: posted by sugar at 11:36 AM



Sunday, December 08, 2002 :::
 
all because of you
[jason and jane]

smile. the morning rays are just so lovely. there's only one place i would rather be. i tell myself there're other things more worthy. but you're my thoughts so constantly.

and it's all because of you. you're the only one that can make me so unhappy. by the way you look at me. and the smell you give is so sweet. how'm i supposed to breathe?

now it's noon and i'm still thinking back there. my one-track minded brain's not to distract. this really wouldn't be so hard if i didn't care but you're not so healthy and that's a fact.

and it's all because of you. you're the only one that can make me so unhappy. by the way you look at me. and the smell you give is so sweet. how'm i supposed to breathe?

it's time for bed. and you're looking better. but i've almost made i through the day. i'm salivating here my lips feel wetter. i've done my time i'll just give in. we'll say it's all because of you. every little thing that you do makes me so unhappy. i feel weakened in my knees. yet i know i shouldn't be.

you're only ice cream.

-written by jason yamaoka-

*hee*

drop me a line if you want to hear the track - yahoo! briefcase won't let me share my files :-( erf.

::: posted by sugar at 10:03 PM


 
whoa

The turtle went to the show last Friday. Then he and Fred (referring to the costume he wore last Halloween) went with Darryl and I to eat a late late supper. Caldo de pollo at Valentine's downtown...8th and Market...DA BOMB. Fresh tortillas. Mmmmmm...

Anyway, it was interesting to have us all around the table talking about things. You can depend on the conversation getting deep with Fred around. He's in an introspective, discovery phase of his life, which I utterly respect. We got to this whole thing about finding out what you want in life, and I noticed that the whole time while we were at Valentine's *they* never talked directly to each other. I know they weren't avoiding each other. But same time...yeah interesting.

Today Turtle says to me that he has more respect for him now. That "he's got more backbone than I thought at first impression." While that sounds like a real ASS thing to say, I just took it with a grain of salt...as a typical Turtle compliment-but-not. Yes, Jenny, he's being a baby. Why am I wasting blog space on this? I guess it's like the Discovery Channel, chronicling the evolution of a species. Hahhahhahhaha...

::: posted by sugar at 6:43 PM


 
Jason and Jane

Let me tell you a little bit about two of the nicest, most talented people I've ever met.

Jason and Jane (whose act is identified as such) is a musical duo that defies description. The website says "acoustic folk rock duo". I always wondered what exactly classifies something as folk music...I'll have to get back to you on that one. They write, the play instruments, they sing. They make music that is full of soul, but you'd prolly never hear on BET. Jason plays guitar (an understatement) but you can't necessarily call their music rock. Jane's voice has been compared to Sarah McLachlan's and Jewel's...but I feel she defies comparison because..well she's Jane! Each has a range that ascends from a soft and mellow...whisper...to a call from the heart that rings as true as a bell. What most of us are really blown away is when Jane starts to float a melody so light it just makes you close your eyes. I've seen people react this way at their performances. It just makes you smile that someone is that talented, man. Too cool. I wish I was a better writer so I could better articulate what I'm trying to say. But I sposes each ear has to find their own description, eh?

I met them at school because they were competing in the annual Asian Pacific Student Alliance's Talent Show. Blew me away to say the least. Naturally they won, and their following grew exponentially. There's always a lot of people at their shows, either friends, extended friends/fans from their open mic sessions, and you can't miss when a group from State is around because they scream and shout obnoxiously out of love :-).

I must say, that I've converted many people who don't listen to "that kind of music" into fans. Just goes to show that you can't deny great music!

Anyway, this past Friday night was their CD release party for their 2nd album. Went over to Twiggs (which has THE BEST WHITE CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT MOCHA EVER, called the Hazelnut Buster) for their show...we didn't show up in time to have a place to sit, but damn it I stood in the back for like two hours and didn't care. Those two put on one of the most entertaining live shows ever. Why? Because they're up there having fun. You can see how much heart and soul they put into what they're playing. The songs are fun, with topics ranging from annoying solicitors to obsessions to calling in sick, etc. etc. etc. They did covers of other songs but you didn't say "oh gahd a cover" because they made it their own. Different interpretations were offered of old favorites from past performances and the first album...all totally awesome.

I can't say enough about these two. Most of my friends don't understand why I get so excited about them at first...their CD(s) didn't even do them full justice in my opinion, although both are excellent. I'll hear stuff like "wow they've got really good voices. And he writes all their songs? Dope." Honestly guys, It's all about the live show. So do yourself a favor and visit one of these websites to start:

1) The "official website ", with a way to get on the mailing list (Jason will send the occasional email to announce performaces in SD and the Bay Area, or just updates sometimes) and general info about them.

2) The mp3.com site, with full tracks from the 2nd album available.

In a word - *yay*

::: posted by sugar at 6:15 PM



Wednesday, December 04, 2002 :::
 
waiting to exhale.

[pardon the redundancies in the following blog. but since it's mine and there are no space requirements as of yet....yeah.]

i feel like i've been talking all day long...

EVP came over today to get some work done since it was near the next event he had to do...plus we hadn't talked in AGES. spent a great afternoon talkin smack, catching up. had an order of the ever famous and ever dangerous carne asada fries. eek!

we really do have a unique relationship. in that we're good friends, we've worked together, we've had differences professionally, had secrets personally. there's a candor and just ... bluntness that is so liberating. i know that he's pretty untrustworthy on certain angles, i've learned to accept that about him. and yet at the same time, i have enough "ammunition" to ensure that he keeps our secrets secret. *wink* he brought up an interesting point - that the turtle still has keys to the apartment. in some ways that's not a big deal. but i know deep down that it's just "not good for business." EVP is gonna help me get em back so that i don't have to do the uncomfortable ask.

the turtle and i had a horrible long drawn out annoying aggrivating argument earlier. basically got popped off by the fact that last night, i went to see darryl after having dinner with him and he felt all dissed. never mind the fact that i'd made these plans to see darryl the day before and that turtle was an hour late meeting me. all he knew was that he felt all disrespected. then it becomes this whole thing about me not being concerned for his problems with the flavor of the month, feeling that i was patronizing him because i made an optomistic and lighthearted comment about not going to bed mad, and that a lover's quarrel isn't too serious. i mean hello, he intro'd it as "i think we had our first disagreement today." the same thing happened back in the day when he was with the fetus. same exact thing. he mentioned a disagreement, and i said "don't worry i know you guys will be ok...and make-up sex is the best kind." AS IF he hasn't hit me with his ARSENAL of asanine and borderline insensitive comments. "you can dish it out but you can't take it." i mean it became this whole circular discussion. never conceding. even when he said sorry, two seconds later he said "i'm not in the mood for bullshit." ok yeah, you're real sorry.

then talkin shit about how we spend all this time together every day. ooooooohhwhheeee, a few hours after his 10 hour day before bedtime on the weekdays, followed by as much time as we can spare on the days off. how on earth does that make us different from any other couple out there? then the character attack on darryl. afterwards he actually had nerve to say "...i could talk shit [more] but i won't. as long as you're happy." when i came to darryl's defense he says (after a long pause) "i guess i need to grow up and see the important things more."

towards the end i got this: "lets just say its gonna take some adjustment on my part about all this stuff...i dont expect you to make time for me like before...but the time i get i just dont want to feel like a drive thru." let's see how far he can last on this before the temper tantrums start again. i told pumpkin - who was awesome enough to stay with me on the phone while the drama unfolded, i really don't know how much longer i can stand this negative attitude. and being with darryl makes it so OBVIOUS how hard I worked and how much I overcompensated to appease the turtle and his pride/ego/attitude. because for the first time in years, maybe even ever...it's not work. it's just great. it's a process. a connection. and like i always say, even if things were to end tomorrow, i'll be so grateful that i was given renewed faith in The System.

thanks to pumpkin, mahals, moosey and 1ofthekids for their ears and wise words. and of course to EVP for...everything.

::: posted by sugar at 10:25 PM



Tuesday, December 03, 2002 :::
 
I'm back at the homestead for the first time since Saturday morning. For longer than an hour. Don't get it twisted, I had a terrific weekend and yesterday was great because Darryl called in sick. But there's no place like home.

(Although the apartment is a freakin disaster area...perhaps another reason why I instinctively felt the need to come home...)

lessons in korean

it's a trip to be around Darryl's cousins because they're like mine - they can't help but mix their English up with their native language. Nowadays I even catch myself throwing phrases at him in Tagalog. Then D'OH I catch myself. Or else he gives me this look like "Huh?" and then I realize what I did.

I spent some time with Jinah on Sunday. I've always adored her on many levels, but despite all the events we've been to or whatnot we've never spent actual time alone together. The one possible exception might have been the night that we talked when she was going to introduce me to her brother. LOL. But anyway, after the Alliance picnic I went with her to look at a bridesmaid's dress or something, and she was able to ask me a lot of questions about me and my family and stuff.

The trippy part was the fact that here we were, at Brides by Demetrios, talking about weddings and what we like and don't like and traditions and customs and all that. It just seemed a little strange considering that 1) she's a reporter, she has those powers of deduction and all that, able to piece a story together from various pieces of information hehe, and 2) she's my boyfriend's sister. But I tried to think of it as, before all of that, she was my friend and I respect her and stuff.

We had a good laugh about how things have happened and how the timing just worked itself out. I really made it a point to say to her how happy I was and how even though I'd had apprehensions before that I'm so grateful that things have turned out so well. I even mentioned that one of the reasons why I almost didn't want to meet him was because of where my life is and I didn't want to put that on anyone or screw around with his life and she said "Darryl's pretty hard to screw up. He's at a point where he knows what he wants and where he's going." She didn't say it in any kind of "way", she was really reassuring about it.

Over dinner last night - it was me, Darryl, Jinah, and cousins Maria, Jimmy, Tom and Jin (who I met for the first time) - Maria starts asking about how long we've been seeing each other. Basically about a month or so, we guess. Then the conversation starts over how it seems like it's still so new, yet it also seems like a lot of time has passed, etc.

In situations like those, it does start to sink in that things are pretty darn new and things have been moving along pretty quickly. I mean even Jinah and I discussed that briefly. But of course, the common sense in me says that that doesn't matter and that everything will fall into place. Guess I'm lucky that his cousins are so open-minded. It's his parents that I'm afraid of. LOL. And mine.

::: posted by sugar at 7:02 PM



Monday, December 02, 2002 :::
 
hee

Darryl got me a new keyboard. No more icky space bar. YAY!

::: posted by sugar at 1:23 PM


 
Monday

WIth the Thanksgiving festivities officially over, we return to the blahblahblah of my semi-normal life.

The Jive Turkey party was groovy. There were just enough people to make it a good turnout, but not SO MANY where you're like ew get away from me, I want room to dance man! I was a good girl, only having one moment of weakness. Yay! There was this hot guy that kept looking at me, and ok fine I'd look too. Just looking, some would say but a couple of times I couldn't help but LOOK, you know? Then finally, even though he realized I wasn't alone, he walked by and bumped into me on purpose (there was way too much room for him to pass for that to be an accident), grabbed my shoulder a little and said "I'm sorry about that." I smiled and said "It's ok, things happen." GEEZUS! He even turned around as he walked away. Anyway.

I'm starting to feel like I spend a lot of time at Darryl's place instead of mine. Not that he's always making me stay here or anything. Can't fade the TiVo! Hahhaa... I guess I'm just saying this because I have a bunch of basics here now...toothbrush, soaps, lotions...and since I do laundry over here I always have clothes on any given day. Creeeppyyyyy... This morning I remember mumbling "is it time to go home now?" and he said "this is your home too." Some say eek. I say...sigh.

The Aftermath dinner went really well. There were basically no leftovers. Just a couple of ribs and some spinach. There ended up being hella people but it was all good. Had a blast playing Taboo and talking about this that and the other. I'm told it's a very big complement that Maria's (Darryl's cousin) rooomate Brian, who I thought was simply FABULOUS, liked me a whole lot and blahblahblah, because apparantly he's one of those gay guys that is very picky and very direct about who they do and do not like. That was nice. And I guess it's some sort of sign because he has this way of reading people or something. Guess he needs more time to get to know me huh? hee. jk.

It was just a nice way to get everyone together, in the tradtion of Thanksgiving. The roomies were there and some of their visiting relatives, the kids, Darryl and Jinah, Maria and Brian and friend Christine, Gail, Lee Ann and Louis, and Ming. Hooray!

I like that he's making efforts to meet all of my friends and stuff. We can't help but remember someone who was always talking about "your friends" and shit like that. Erf. OH and yknow what's funny...is that in light of these recent events, that same someone is all whatever because the kids don't call him or anything like that. Dood, not only were they my friends first, I make efforts to talk to them! That's the whole reason why I can be cool with people that were originally his friends! I call, I write, blahblahblah. Then he gets mad because I know when people's bdays are or who's doing what. What a nerd. He needs to learn. Maybe this young buck chick can teach him a thing or two since she's so "mature for her age." Hee!

Man I got hella stuff to do today. Erf. Gotta start pounding that pavement and get a job on!


::: posted by sugar at 1:17 PM

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"The Things We Think, But Do Not Say"